Life after the Portal and Internet . . .

Due to the many comments I have received over my original article and the requests that I perhaps write another about my perception of, how do two individual people respond to each other when they first meet? How indeed? What does one say, what does one do, what does one not do or say – nothing but questions and yet these questions are a life line to those of us who are seeking the genuine life long relationship. Let me state at this stage that I am no philosopher nor am I the perpetual agony uncle. I am no more than a single guy who has seen and experienced much in life, looking for a mind, body and soul partner. There are many messages and pointers in the above questions both for the female and male who are on this and similar portals. As humans we all in real terms tend to look towards the negative, this was echoed in an email to me from Martin whose article appears before my original one (his is worth reading), it is far easier to give up the hunt and then to try and seek out the positive and work on promoting that. I raise this here a little out of context as this will in fact add to my perception of “life after the portal and Internet”, later on. One of the first things we all need to understand is ourselves, how we have presented ourselves in here, what we have written, what we have promised and above all how honest we have been not only with the recipient of our letters and photos but also with ourselves. In here, in the portal and internet we as recipients see that what we wish to see, be this good or be this bad – we draw our conclusions from the emails we receive, the phone calls we get and in general terms our communication over the wire so as to speak. Having drawn our conclusions, having set our expectations we seek to receive all of this if not more when we meet the opposite side in our first meeting and this meeting is perceived by everyone to be the most important. The first meeting I would agree is important, but in my humble opinion it is not perhaps as important as those that will or should follow and with luck, these will last a lifetime. Let us look at the above questions individually:- What does one say at the first meeting? Here much depends on how honest you have been though your correspondence - if you are a player and have lied through your correspondence, you really not need be at any meeting , you will within minutes fall flat on your face – the opposite side will see right though you in a matter of minutes – if on the other hand you are genuine and have been honest then what to say will not be an obstacle to you . . . you will continue in your face to face experience by continuing where your correspondence had finished. Judge not here but seek out the value of the meeting and look to see how far your expectations are being met. Do not be negative and toss in the towel because only 70% of your expectations are visible, remember you built these around what you perceived the other person to be over an internet connection. Look into their eyes and see if they are looking into yours, look behind the eyes and seek out the character. What does one do? One does nothing more then be oneself, be considerate and understanding, be the person you wrote about and described in your correspondence , just be the real you. Remember that the both of you have expectations built on what you wrote to one another, build on these and do not destroy them by trying to portray something or someone you are not.. What does one not do or say? Well from a standing start, one does not judge by appearance alone, do not try and be someone who you are not – a fatal mistake as acting out such a part is short lived and will without doubt kill the prospect of the relationship very quickly. One does not spend the first meeting talking about one’s self, no question and answer sessions – try holding a normal conversation, learning about each other but remembering all that you have both written to one another, do not go over old ground as this is boring. Do not make the mistake as I have seen many make and tell the other party you love them when you first meet, after all you have just met and are trying to establish if you are both the same people face to face as you were on the internet – by all means express the fact that you are interested in and fond of the other side if this is how you feel. One for the male population here in general, do not get too touchy, keep the hands where hands are supposed to be kept, on the end of your wrists. In conclusion, there is life after the internet but it exists only within the bounds of honesty and reality – as for my own personal experience, I am looking to visit the lady I have met in here at the end of February, remembering all of the above I know our meeting will be more of two individuals not meeting for the first time but more of two individuals who having lost one another , now have found each other again – what a nice feeling and position to be in and its all thanks to honesty. I wish you all much luck in your search for that perfect partner, ignore the negative and build on the positive, look to the future and above all be honest not only with who you are writing too but also with yourself. Elena, I have based this article on what we both have experienced in here together – it will not be long now . . . Czeslaw